Beware of Grandfather's Telling Stories

Yesterday, I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena (my wonder dog) at Wal-Mart and was in the check out line.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. I probably shouldn't, I continued, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. I awoke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. However, I did lose 40 pounds on the diet, so I was giving it another go.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is you load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete and I needed to lose a few more pounds. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was, by now, enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, this woman asked if I ended up in intensive care because I'd been poisoned by the dog food. I told her no, it happened because I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit both of us.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard!
WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore

Backup News Truck

Had a couple of hours after work Friday afternoon before the gates at the stadium would open, so I started cruising through hollywood looking for dinner. Noticed that the mini was low on petrol, so cruised into a station that was empty save for a news truck. Started to think that this can not be good, then saw another news truck parked behind the station. Apparently the prices were a little higher than average here, and it was a good back drop to their story for the four PM news broadcast. Other customers started to arrive after I started filling up, and I started to feel safe enough that this was not a robbery investigation, except maybe for the prices. Took a snap on my way out of their microwave setup and a short video clip whilst filling up.

Fire Behind Me

I started smelling smoke through my home office window, then saw flashlights in the yard below me, closed all my windows and ran out to open the gates for the police, told them it was the neighbors place behind me. The police went back to investigate while I stayed in the fresh air. They told the firetrucks where to go, who then had at it. Sounds of saws cutting into the garage roof. Well, it use to be a garage. My landlady just told me that a family was living in it. Not tonight. Finally came back upstairs and found my camera in time to see them mopping up. Sorry folk, no flame pictures for you. I'm going to need to air out my apartment once the smoke from next door settles down, yuck.

In the Public Domain

I've been lurking on http://www.librivox.org/ for a couple of years now, enjoying an old book now and then from their ever growing catalog. Well, last night I finally contributed by reading in their weekly poetry reading. You can hear it all who recorded this weeks poem in this thread here. The professionalism some put into this free audio book hobby is amazing. I am grateful that they also encourage amatuers like me to contribute. Check them out, you may find something worth listening to, or even participate in reading for.

Have a Safe Memorial Day

Hug a serviceman today. Though, not from behind, or you'll be thrown to the mat and have your life threatened.

But How?

Hey Uncle Proto,
How did you geocache in the olden days?
With a compass and a paper map, that's how!
And we liked it!

Mariah

And then, the winds came. The winds stayed for the first five innings of Wednesday night's game. Took a little washed out video with my cheap camera. Notice how the flags are just streaming in flat out. Debris was flying everywhere at times. Grounds crew kept it as nice as they could between innings.

Ran Me Off

Woke up starting to blame my lack of poker playing to gypsies and armenians gambling in the micro and low limit games and not taking them seriously enough to play the game. Then I started to rationalize not playing by buying another set of baseball season tickets and a continue making payments on a year and a half old car [my favorite toy ever!], but none of this explains the waning interest in poker. To get the feeling waxing again, I've started re-reading the books I have, again watching the dvds, and to remember the passion I had a few years ago for this game. The passion was ruined by my lack of understanding of the other people playing the game. The game isn't about cards and chips, but people. I may even try to do some of the things that Daniel has done, and not play the cards, but ignore them, ignore the chips, and react and provoke actions, of the people. Some of that, but I want to start playing again, and win a few more tournaments.

I am Iron Man

Cool flick. A nice story line, similar to most other superhero story lines, yet just enough of a twist to keep me interested even through the added scene after the credits finish rolling. I think this movie has made enough money that a sequel is coming. And I hope it does just as well. Now, where is my torch, hammer, and power source, it's time to build another suit...